Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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