if you like me you must not know who I am
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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