Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
