It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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