at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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