Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
