google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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