I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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