A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
