A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Who died my cat blue again?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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