he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
