I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
