i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
