So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
