May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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