You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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