what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My vagina just clenched in fear
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
