everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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