around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You made out with two different species that night
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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