we made out on top of his cat.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
