Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
