dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
