K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
