I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
