Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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