I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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