you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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