do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
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