This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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