they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
