A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
