when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
