You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
