So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
