LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
