So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
