i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
