ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
