i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
