Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
