i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
