ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
