she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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