I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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