he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
