This girl is more easily done than said...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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