either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
