we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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