Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
