Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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